The Big Picture

The Straits Times featured two articles yesterday which pointed towards positive trends regarding the adoption of technology in Singapore schools.

I’m not a cynic, but I’m highly skeptical about the tone of great optimism in both articles.

In the first article, Students Relish Life in the Cutting Edge, the journalist writes:

SUBMITTING assignments in the form of blogs, podcasts and videos and the use of tablet PCs are now commonplace in many classrooms here.

The widespread use of such technology among students is in part a result of the Education Ministry’s Future Schools programme.

One basic argumentative flaw lies in the fact that while the article begins by claiming that submitting different forms of assignments is ‘commonplace in many classrooms’ and promoting our ‘widespread use of technology’, the rest of the article only goes on to talk about a special pilot test programme targeted at five schools in Singapore.

The second article, which makes an even bolder claim, is headlined, “Singapore schools lead the way in tech use.”

This claim is not, of course, groundless as it actually comes from Microsoft vice-president Anthony Salcito. It cites many examples of how schools were supplied with tablet PCs and a whole year’s worth of lessons were uploaded online, allowing for differentiated learning. Most importantly, students involved in the project did well in their examinations and became “confident, self-directed learners”.

Going beyond the obvious flaw of extreme generalisation in both articles (I mean, how many schools actually have school portals enhanced with live messaging features), the articles failed to point out that the examples they cited were primarily pilot test schools, which have a huge amount of support from the Ministry downwards and in a way, they have a vested interest to make the use of technology work and ensure that the money spent on them is not wasted. The results from pilot tests schools are hardly reflective of nation-wide trends of technology use.

From the perspective of an educator, there are too many loopholes or pieces of missing information in these two articles to convince me that Singapore is a leader in technology use for education in our world today.

I’m concerned too that these accolades we earn might result in nation-wide implementation of these technological ‘tools’ without specific consideration of the extremely varying profiles of different schools.

For example, how did the schools measure the correlation between technology use and exam results? Could the improvement be merely because of the use of more engaging methods of learning? What are the profile of these students on whom the pilot test was done? What kind of support and guidelines were given to teachers in their use of technology?

I did find one source of encouragement in these two articles though. It seems to me that technology use is emerging in these schools from sound pedagogical approaches and driven towards helping students cultivate ‘21-st century skills’, like collaborative learning and creativity.

There is mention in second article about how MOE is going to cut down on pen and paper examinations in favour of those which teach team work and creativity. Another encouraging trend and a good idea on paper, but the execution must be carefully thought out and integrated, not added-on, to our current Education system.

I’m all for the use of technology in the classroom and I do want to use some of these tools meaningfully in my classroom next year. Let’s hope I’ll have some positive news to report from my own experiences in school.

The Green Grass Syndrome

At Edwin and Diana’s wedding yesterday, Pastor Ming concluded with a word which really spoke to me:

After we get married, we sometimes wonder if we could have done better, if there was someone better for us. We always think that the grass is greener on the other side – but you know what, that is not true. The grass is greener where you choose to water and nurture it.

Once you’ve made a choice, the commitment then lies upon the couple to make sure that the grass in your own lawn is continually nurtured and healthy.

What Pastor said caused me to think more, not just about relationship, but about many other situations in our lives.

Do we struggle in our own circumstances and wish we were in other circumstances? Or do we really focus on making our own situation better?

Aligning emotional goals

Yesterday’s cell group message was about spiritual maturity, which is revealed through character.

D. L. Moody once said, “Character is what you are in the dark.”

Recognition is what people say about you. Character is what God knows about you.

The 5 marks of spiritual maturity:

1. Positive under pressure
2. Sensitive to the needs of others
3. Peace-maker
4. Patient
5. Prayerful

If there were one area out of the five above which I really want to grow in, it would be to become more sensitive to the needs of others.

It’s such an easily neglected aspect of the job I do, but as I’ve grown in wisdom over the past 6 months, the various emotional needs of students have become increasingly apparent to me. Learning how to meet those needs in a way that is professional yet personal is something that requires wisdom and practise, but the sensitivity to it is something I feel I really need to cultivate and grow in.

Interestingly enough, I read an article yesterday which speaks about the need for teachers to be innately aware of not only their students’, but their own emotional goals in the classroom. Full text is available here.

This portion of the article spoke to me:

“Every kid comes into the classroom with an emotional goal – and it’s not necessarily academic,” Stein says.

Of course, it’s not just the students who have these emotions. Teachers do, too.

“When you teach, you take on responsibility for understanding your own emotions as well as understanding the emotions of the students and the class,” Christodoulou says.

The issue is how to align the goals of the student and the teacher. That means making the student feel the goal is emotionally relevant. Sometimes, teachers can help shape the way the students see their goals and figure out what will happen if they meet them. So can parents.

There is an interesting case study in the article about an 8th grade boy, normally reticent in class. Upon receiving praise from his teacher about his artwork, he subsequently went to deface that ‘masterpiece’. The incident is analyzed as a mismatch of goals. The boy’s ‘emotional goal’ was to be a ‘respected outcast’, whereas the teacher wanted to help him express himself artistically.

Although the students I teach are probably less emotionally demanding than a grade 8 kid, I can’t deny that the emotions of students’ play a key role in motivating them to do what needs to be done as I’ve learnt over the past few months. And that’s one of the key areas I want to advance in in my next year as a teacher.

Our department retreat is happening today, where we plan and revamp our methods of teaching, so we will meet the academic needs of our students. Meeting the deeper needs of our students require a deeper, and more personal ‘revamping’ and growth in wisdom to know the words needed and channels available to meet those needs. What an exciting journey ahead!

Our Delight in the Lord

This morning, before starting my marking, I resolved to spend some time in His word.

The past few days, I’ve been drawing on resources to deepen my journey in His word. John Piper’s site, Desiring God, is an amazing resource for this, especially since he categorizes his sermons by Scripture. His entry yesterday on how a community where the gospel thrives is one where there is sharing of souls really spoke to me, but I didn’t have time to really dwell on the message – hence I made the decision today to spend sometime really meditating on His word.

Indeed, God spoke to me today, about delight.

I was reading 1 Thessalonians 2:9-16 today, about receiving the word of man as the Word of God. Piper speaks about 3 aspects of how the Thessaloninans received the word: as precious, pleasant and practical, of which how precious God word was to them really spoke to me. This is what he says:

[The Thessalonians] received the word even though it meant “much affliction.” From that I infer that they welcomed the word as precious. To have it and believe it and trust in it was worth more than comfort and safety. It was a treasure. They accepted suffering rather than give it up. So the right way to accept the word of God is to accept it as precious – more precious than possessions and life.

What does it mean to give up God’s word? It means to put it aside, to see it as less important as your conventional wisdom – to leave God’s word aside when it becomes inconvenient, or when it puts you in a difficult spot. The Thessalonians treasured it. They appreciated it and never took it for granted.

As I was pondering more on this notion of delighting in Him, God brought me back to a verse which sustained me through my exams in my first year of being a Christian from Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

As I pondered on the verse, I realised that I am no longer clear about what the desires of my heart are. What exactly do I want God to give me? What can I have that will really fill my soul and bring complete contentment? Career advancement? More friends? Financial blessings? A beautiful house to stay in?

Then I realised one thing – a heart that delights in the Lord has desires that are aligned to God’s will. A heart that delights in the Lord is one that is sensitive to the Lord’s hand and blessings in His life. A heart that delights in the Lord is content inwho God is and what God chooses to give to him.

It is not that we passively sit around waiting for the promises to be fulfilled, but that sense of contentment and fulfillment comes from resting in receiving what the Lord has for you and allowing Him to direct your desires – and that is what ultimate contentment consists of.

Food Fascination

Lately my interest in food has brought me beyond just eating to reading about it in recipe books, food magazines and food blogs! Surfing through food blogs has brought me to some really interesting finds.

Here’s my latest find – desserts at BLU at Shangri-la. Just to tantalize you – here’s a picture of one of the desserts!

Every part of this ‘potted plant’ dessert is edible! The pebbles at the bottom are made of bitter chocolate and the pink ‘fluffy’ things you see hanging around the branches are actually pink cotton candy.

You can read the full entry at  Divine Essentials - it also features a ‘breakfast’ dessert! Check it out.

The Spice of Life

I have always been a person who likes stability, who likes to keep things the way they are.

When I was in my final year of university, I kept to a very strict and disciplined routine everyday. For a year, I would wake up at a fixed time, do my quiet time for an hour, then exercise for an hour and start my day at the same time. The routine was comforting. It gave me certainty. It kept me going. It ensured that what I did what I needed to do.

Yet increasingly, in many areas of my life now, I’m realising that increasing need for newness – for new methods, new experiences, new places – so as to ensure that my life, my heart and my relationships don’t grow cold.

One person from whom I learnt this is my cell group leader, KT. Unknowingly I’ve spent almost a year with this cell group and not one cell group meeting has ever been exactly the same as the previous one. The excitement has always been kept high. We always play a new game, sing a new song, or do things in a way different from the previous ways. We decided to do our prayer list differently this time, so as to keep our members spiritually sensitive. KT’s always finding new songs to sing in cell group, new songs that will jolt us in the spirit and bring us deeper into the presence. Just last week, we sang a song I had never sung before, “Unashamed“, by Starfield. It was difficult to capture the melody initially, but we captured it and the presence just came down.

My dearie has taught me the importance of doing new things as well. We’re always seeking new experiences as we go on our dates. Whenever we settle into a routine, she’s always there to alert me, or to provide suggestions for more interesting things we could be doing. Just over the past few weeks, we’ve gone to the Images of our Landscape exhibition at the National Museum, a book reading of Singapore: A Biography at Books Actually, BodyWorlds exhibition at the Singapore Science Centre, to Holt Park, Ikea furniture shopping and we are going for a movie screening of a documentary on Myanmmar this Wednesday. Some might call us geeky, but these activities are what refresh us amidst the very mundane nature of work and other demands of life, and draw us closer together too.

Just yesterday, I brought my family to Marina Barrage – a place they had never been to before. Although it was crowded, the freshness of visiting a new place and the energy of the place just brought a smile to both my mum and my sister’s face. I’m now scouting new places where I can bring my family.

In my teaching too, I’m trying to inject freshness in whatever way I can.

Who says presentation rehearsals have to be boring and dreadful? The first two that I went through were a struggle due to time limitations, but I attempted in my final rehearsal to bring in new teachers to give new perspectives. I varied the way in which I gave feedback and worked with the students. I was always thinking of new ways in which I could improve their presentations, even when not at the dry run.

One important thing I realise about teaching is that if you don’t make a conscious effort to ‘feed’ yourself with new ideas, new information, you will soon run dry and you won’t be able to meet the needs of your students. Perhaps the intellectual challenge is higher in that sense for subjects like General Paper or Project Work, but I believe this applies for all teachers.

Most importantly of all, and a great revelation I received in service today, was about my relationship with God.

Pastor Rick Seaward preached today on what prevents us from moving ahead, from reaching our breakthroughs and one point he mentioned was old methods.

I mentioned earlier in my post that I used to wake up early and spend an hour reading the Bible, and that used to feed me.

But nowadays, I do the same things as in the past, within of course a shorter time frame as I’m more tired – but I’ve been struggling over the past few months. Yes, I’m doing what needs to be done, but the fire, the excitement of communion  with Him has died down. I’m reading His word, I’m praying, but I don’t feel that deep sense of communion and passion like I used to.

As Pastor Rick Seaward was preaching, I realised that I really need to change the way I did my quiet time. I remember one morning a few weeks ago, I just felt so discontented with my own revelation of the word that during my QT, I went online and started doing research from commentaries about the verses I was looking at. God started to speak to me through multiple sources and the word sank deep into me as my mind was engaged and challenged during my research. Perhaps I need to go deeper and try out a new, more intellectually engaging method of reading His word.

While I do know that it’s ultimately our personal engagement with God’s word that brings forth revelation, I believe I have changed a lot since I’ve entered teaching and as I mature in my faith. I’ve become more questioning and my faith, though still of course a heart matter, requires deeper intellectual engagement to really sink in. And I need to change the way I engage with the Lord now.

I don’t know how else I could ‘vary’ my prayer life, but if anyone has any suggestions, I’m more than open to listen and try out your strategies.

Refreshing comes when fresh methods are used. And I pray that all aspects of my life will continually be renewed and fuelled by that desire in me for newness.

Words of Affirmation

Over the past week I’ve learnt the power of words.

Last Saturday, some words exchanged sent me into a whole spiral of emotions – discontentment, irritation, anger, frustration, stress and even caused me to become so physically drained. Of course, my dear was the voice of rationality and comfort through it all and I calmed down, worked out my emotions and ended off the day on a high note.

We often know that a simple ‘thank you’ isn’t enough to make us feel valued or satisfied, but yet we are often so stingy in our appreciation of others. We say ‘Thanks’ and leave it as that. I’ve often guilty of it too.

I’ve come to realise that ‘Thank you’, or ‘Thank you very much’ isn’t enough to make a person feel appreciated, though of course it’s better than nothing. What most of us need are specific words of appreciation, for specific things we have done. This works in almost all situations, for almost all our relationships.

Words have fuelled me through a very hectic week at work. The right words at the right time can really do wonders.

In the middle of the week, I had a conversation that made me feel valued and appreciated for a lot of the work I had done over the past months. And my students’ SMSes of affirmation at the end of their exams yesterday really encouraged me. It led me to wonder though if I had really affirmed my students enough throughout the year of their capabilities and their progress.

My dearie has taught me too the importance of affirming one another, of showing appreciation for the small things that we do for each other through her own example. I’m still learning a lot from her in that area.

One resolution I will have is to be more generous and effusive with my praises in the year 2010, to edify and affirm those dear to me, my colleagues and my students.

Blood Tree

Mr Wong invited me back to that unearthly corner of Singapore for his graduation production, “Blood-Tree”, this week. As always when I go to watch these performances, I am always aware that I should put aside all expectations of what a theatrical performance should be like, and experience the performance as it unfolds.

The synopsis writes:

Five different stories tied one trunk story, all under the theme of family, viewed from different eyes and situations. The pieces are performed on the edge of absurdism, a large dose of comedy and a hint of tragedy.

Interestingly enough, my experience of the performance was a large dose of tragedy and a hint of comedy, which goes to show how this performance defied expectations – perhaps even of whoever wrote that synopsis! There were many other ways in which this performance deviated from conventional modes of story-telling:

Physicality

As was emphasized a lot during the post-show dialogue, a lot of the experiences, the emotions and exchanges were done not through words, but through the physical body – through posturing, their positioning and of course their facial expressions. The turmoil of being torn apart by various family demands, the reluctance to let go, to succumb to your parents’ expectations, to take ownership and resolve a problem – all these were issues only briefly spoken about, but elaborately portrayed through the movement of the actors’ bodies.

Although Mr. Wong later told him his practicum supervisor mentioned that the last performance needed more work, there was a particular segment of ‘physical’ theatre in that final piece which really spoke to me.

There was a moment where the father told the son to go call the grandmother for dinner and the son (acted by Mr. Wong) walks towards the grandma, who is seated a distance away from the family. He shouts for her, but there’s no sound made. The ’shouting’ is instead portrayed by placing his hands next to his mouth and him moving his body upwards, then forwards  (in a sort of anti-clockwise direction) like he is ‘throwing’ his voice, and then coming down again. The grandma didn’t respond the first time, and he had to do it a second time. In the second time, as he was ‘throwing’ his voice again, he stepped forward, closer to the grandma and she turned, smiled and held his hands and came for dinner. The scene worked so well, on a literal and metaphorical level.

There were many other moments like the play of the Big Bad Wolf and the ensemble running around the protagonist in “My Father” which really left an impression on me. I must say these moments were really impressively choreographed and kudos to the Ensemble for pulling it off. I could see they really put their all into it.

Minimalist approach

This is kind of a repeat of the above, but this ‘minimalist’ approach applied more to just their acting, but the overall production. I told Jasmine after the performance that I thought it was abstract, but after thinking through it more, I realised that ultimately this wasn’t that abstract a performance, because it is rather obvious what’s going on, but it is minimalist because a lot of ‘plot’ details have to be infered and reconstructed from the essence presented and even characterisation is drawn out not by costume or through ‘acting’ like the figure, but by simple elements like positioning, how high they are standing on the box, how they speak to the audience and not to each other (i.e. Land Division). Even in terms of props, the wooden boxes they had took on various forms in different acts.

I have to admit I was initially quite uncomfortable with it and wanted to see more. I wanted to see the background of each story, more about the character and his/her motivations, more about what was going on in the minds of each character. I wanted something to ‘analyse’, to look deeper into. The lack of explicit ‘psychologizing’ of the characters made me search deeper within myself to understand these characters, into my own experiences and my own understanding of family relations, and I believe this is what made this performance so personal.

In the post-performance dialogue, one of the respondents mentioned that she connected most with the Land Division story because it actually happened in her family – but I couldn’t connect with its key issues. Yes, on the surface I could understand the struggle for power in the family, but I didn’t identify with it and therefore that performance lost its impact onme. But the performance on My Father with the figure of the eldest brother really made me think not just of my present, but of what might happen possibly in the future and how I would handle it – which brings me to my final point.

The Third Eye

Although I knew that these stories were derived from actual experiences, the performance came across as being an interesting blend of detachment and engagement of these actors with the stories. Sometimes, it was even interesting to note that it wasn’t the protagonist in the piece who seemed the most engaged with the story, but possibly even one sitting at the side watching in or the one who was the most quiet.

The performance was arranged in such a way that the main pieces would take place in the centre and those who didn’t perform wouldn’t be off stage, but sitting on the side of the stage on their wooden boxes, looking in, providing a kind of ‘audience’ within the performance.

In the post-performance dialogue, one of the actresses mentioned that this performance served for them to be a kind of ‘third eye’, not just performing their own stories, but looking into at their own stories, detaching themselves from situations they are so involved in emotionally to take an objective stance, which applies to how we deal with our own family situations many times.

Simiarly with this performance, while I mentioned that the play on the Father generated some thoughts in me, I felt myself rather emotionally unengaged throughout most of the performance – perhaps it was because I was still trying to ‘fill in the gaps’, or the back story behind all these short vignettes of each story, where only the essence and not the details are all presented.

Thank you Mr. Wong for inviting me down for the performance. Congratulations to you and your team for putting up a great and thought-provoking experience which lingered on in my mind until this morning!

On a side note, it was good to be back in NIE again and it brought back some really good memories of my NIE days – yes I know, to the sacrilege of many – but I did have great memories of my friends in NIE. Met a previous lecturer there too and we spent sometime catching up. I do want to catch up with some of my NIE friends and lecturers sometime – hopefully we can do so this holidays.

Trouble-shooting

The past week has been a non-stop barrage of numbers – working through spreadsheets of marks, item analysis, troubleshooting Excel worksheets and trawling through cells worth of formulas just to find that one cell which has been wrongly tabulated.

I find a sort of perverse joy in troubleshooting Spreadsheets, a joy in tweaking formulas and adjusting cells until all the numbers appear nicely, without a single Div/0 and everything I need is presented before me.

Perhaps it was also the comfort of knowing how to adjust and work through something to reach a solution, where the end-goal was clear and the steps, though tedious, presented themselves lucidly before me.

How do you fix something when you don’t know how the end-state looks like?

How do you resolve a problem without a right answer?

How do you start tweaking when you don’t know how the components interact?

Where are the instruction manuals to guide, or the exemplars to follow? What if instructions give you more to think about, rather than procedures to follow?

Yet in the midst of all these, inaction and inertia is the worst solution of all.

Making it a Spring

Psalm 84

⁵ Blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
         Whose heart is set on pilgrimage.
⁶ As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
         They make it a spring;
         The rain also covers it with pools.
⁷ They go from strength to strength;
Each one appears before God in Zion.

 

Pastor shared a message today on the various kinds of trials we go through in life, which was indeed a relevant message for me, but what made the most impact was this verse, which he ended the message with from Psalm 84:6.

The valley of Baca was a perilous pass through which pilgrims travelled on their way to Jerusalem. It was a place of difficulty and dangers. The grounds were parched. It was an arid and dry land. The sun always shone harshly above this valley. It was a difficult place to pass through for those whose hearts were set on that pilgrimage.

Yet, in the midst of this parched land, they made it a spring.

It became a place of refreshing, a place of overflowing living waters. But who did it? Who made it that place?

Was it God?

No, it wasn’t God.

The verse says they made it a spring. It was those who were passing through it, those who were on the pilgrimage, who made that choice to draw near to God, and change that experience through the valley of Baca into one of drawing near to God, and one of refreshing.

Many times, when we go through times of difficulty, we ask God to change the circumstances. We ask to be taken out of the valley, for the sun to stop shining so relentlessly, for the burdens to be lifted off our shoulders.

Yet in the midst of it all, these people whose hearts were set on pilgrimage, made an active choice to make the most out of those circumstances, and make it a spring – a time of growth, a time of refreshing in the Lord, a time of new beginnings and of spiritual growth.

God has taught me in the past week not to let my circumstances and valley experiences overtake me, but to take control of my circumstances and turn them into a spring. I’ve allowed myself to be defeated, but now I’m more spiritually alert, and more sensitive too, ready to turn my valley experience into a spring. And by doing so, I pray that I will grow from strength to strength, so that I will be able to handle a lot more in the future.